Xander, the friend

sosa lola · Xander, the friend

I've read Dana's thread about Xander the betrayer and while he had his not-so-good moments, I won't say I don't want him as a friend, certainly Buffy and Willow can't live without him and that's of course because of a bigger reason than "they had to like him."

You don't want him as a friend? Fine.

Me? Well...

A guy who just learned that vampires existed yet risked his life to save me (The Harvest = Jesse), a guy right after possession wore off him and saw me in danger didn't even wait to ask questions and jumped to rescue me (The Pack = Willow), a guy who went to his romance rival forcing logic into him with a cross to save me after I rejected him (Prophecy Girl = Buffy), a guy who threw himself at his mummy crush sacrificing his life to save me (Inca Mummy Girl = Willow), a guy who jumped into fire to get me out even though I always mock his social life and fashion sense (Some Assembly Required = Cordelia), a guy who stood up to Angelus to protect me while I was sick in the hospital (Killed by death = Buffy), a guy who told me that I was his hero when I felt that everyone was abandoning me (The Freshmen = Buffy), .... etc

Long list, you may go here and read about this guy I was as a friend:

http://www.boilsandblindingtorment.com/xandergreatness.htm

Sure, he and Buffy may have had a few spats, he may have been a jerk from time to time. So what? All characters were jerks and crazy. Buffy tried to kill her friends in Normal Again, Willow tried to end the world in Grave, Giles went behind Buffy's back to kill Spike, Spike tried to kill and rape Buffy, Anya tried to get Xander's friends to wish him dead... all of them did horrible things.

I don't get why only Xander gets blamed for the Empty Places mess when he should be the least person to get blamed. Honestly, he lost a part of his body. In Dirty Girls Xander gave a rousing speech to get the potentials to trust Buffy. But when the eye was lost and Buffy wasn't showing any concern, no, also Giles telling them Buffy doesn't trust them, Xander couldn't bring himself to protect Buffy anymore. He's too hurt physically and emotionally. Seriously, it wasn't about trusting Buffy as much as not trusting her plan. And everbody thought the plan sucked, not only Xander.

As for Buffy's vampire boyfriends (only boyfriends of Buffy Xander didn't like post-S2):

Xander to Angel:

- Going to Angel's apartment to get Angel to help him save Buffy and encouraging Angel to *actually* move his ass to save Buffy. The point is seeking the vamp he dislike's help to save the girl he's in love with.

- Returning Angel's smile in Prophecy Girl.

- Letting Angel use him as bait with Spike in School Hard. Not to mention, not dwelling on Angel's "if he bit you we'll know he bought it."

- Arguing against Kendra's decision to kill Angel. "Angel is our friend, except I don't like him."

- Helping Buffy to save Angel in Amends.

- Asking Buffy and Angel if he could help solving their argument in The Zeppo.

- When Oz and Willow found the cure to save Angel in Graduation Part 1 but were too shocked to reveal what it was, Xander urged them, "Come on guys, the suspense is killing Angel."

- Helping Angel with the missions they have together even with bickering there.

Xander to Spike:

- Taking Spike in during S4 instead of killing him or throwing him out while he was helpless.

- Xander gives Spike an apologetic shrug after beating him in Hush.

- Almost putting himself in danger of being hit by falling rocks, Xander jumps to pull Spike from under that piece of beam, saving his life in Doomed.

- When Spike lies about being Xander's friend, Xander lets him with an amused look.

- In The Yoko Factor, when Spike planned to 'pretend to go back under disguise into the Initiative', Xander delivered him the clothes appropriate with the 'job'. Xander is so naive sometimes.

- In Primeval when Spike rescued the Scoobies, he asked to be forgiven for his betrayal, then we see Giles and Willow looking at Xander as if asking for permission. Xander just shakes his head letting Spike be, instead of grabbing him and staking him.

- He bonds with Spike in Triangle.

- Being understanding about Spike's state in Intervention, and actually giving excuses to Buffy not to kill him.

- Lighting Spike's cigarette in Spiral and asking about Spike's wounds.

- In Normal Again, telling Buffy that he feels sorry for Spike and understands what he's going through because Xander also had had an unrequited love for Buffy back in high school.

- Saying "thank you" to Spike when he saved him in Normal Again.

- Taking Spike back in Him.

- Working together with Spike in Him.

- When Anya asked Xander to back her up in her 'we must kill Spike' argument, Xander chose to ignore her in Never Leave Me.

- Instead of blaming Spike, like Willow, Xander suggested that it wasn't Spike's fault that he's killing, it was probably because The First had triggered him.

- In Get It Done, Xander was the only one who considered that Spike can bring the demon, when everybody even Buffy had underestimated Spike.

- In Lies My Parents Told Me, Xander gave Spike a pat on the shoulder for support.

I think by S7, Xander was one of the most mature characters in the show, I'd argue even more mature than Giles. And Buffy only trusted him out of the core four in the end, because he's her strength and se trusts him with her life and Dawn's. Probably why Xander was the only Scooby along Buffy's side in Scotland in S8 comics.

Rua1412

Oh gosh How much I missed your post Sosa Lola (hugs you tightly honey).

Returning at the topic in question I agree with your greatly exposed points, but the last one in which you say that Buffy trusted Xander more than the others Scoobies. I think that Buffy shared her trust between him and Willow since she calls her her big gun and she put Willow in charge to free the potentials around the world without a second thought.

Anyway like I told in Dana's thread I like Xander too and I would chose him like a friend too.

Xander being a human isn't perfect. Sure some of his actions and words are moved by his jealousy and from his young age but he showed more than once that he is ready to sacrifice himself for the ones that he cares about.

sosa lola

Thank you, Rua1412

I think by season seven, Buffy learned to trust Willow again, but for some reason I think she trusts Xander more. Buffy could have had Dawn with Willow in her office in Chosen or in the company of a good fighter like Giles or Wood. But she left her with Xander, a guy with one eye and a decent fighter. I think she considers Xander as a brother, part of the family, especially that she and Xander did the parental thing with Dawn the whole S7, even though Willow felt more of a sister to Dawn the whole season than Buffy. (Probably why Dawn wants to talk about her problems to Willow rather than Buffy in S8)

Ameer

Farah, somehow, I could smell you coming here from 1000000000 cyber miles away as soon as the betrayer thread was posted.

Yes, I would love to have Xander as a friend. Who wouldn't? I don't get the Empty-Places-Xander-hate either. In fact, I could totally see where he was coming from, and in my opinion, he was one of the only one who actually had a justified reason. The guy lost his eye! Of course he could get pissed!...which he wasn't, but that's not the point.

I loved the whole nuclear family deal with Buffy, Xander and Dawn in Season 7 and that's probably why the early episodes of the season are among my favourites. I wish they had more of that instead of all the screen time that went to the crappy Potentials.

Great to have you here, Farah!

sosa lola